The Image of God – Part 2: The Enemy is Strong

So I have recently been on a path of trying to make positive changes in my life, and building a strong foundation on which to grow. I found a new church that I really like, and I have been setting myself up to get involved in different ways. I even have a meeting set up with one guy on staff to talk to about things that I have been going through. By the way, this was a huge step for me because I tend to keep very guarded when it comes to how I really feel about personal things. I always want to express myself, but I don’t do it anywhere near enough. On top of trying to root myself in a church, and surround myself with positive, biblical, respectful, and helpful people, I am working on being more transparent as well. I feel that I kept all of my personal thoughts too hidden and covered up, and that is no way to work through things. I will get back to this idea in much more detail later in the post. There has to be a change, and it is happening now.

I mentioned in one of my previous posts that my faith, and I am sure many people’s faith is a little bit like a roller coaster ride. There are climbs, there are huge quick falls that are very scary, and there are corkscrews where you might have now clue where you are, where you are going, and what is happening next. I have recently dropped very low, on this roller coaster ride, but it’s not fun and games for me. There are no padded harnesses or safety belts to prevent me from getting hurt. And when I start to attempt to climb back up again on my own, gravity, or the Enemy, starts to pull back at me. It’s almost as if the harder I strive to climb away from the depths, the Enemy pulls that much harder. It may be a lame analogy, but I am going to continue with it. We’ve all been on roller coasters, and if you haven’t then you’re really missing out. But on almost every ride, usually at the beginning, there is a climb to a high point and the ride starts at the top, and lets momentum and gravity take over to get through the obstacles. Gravity is constant, it is always there pulling down on the roller coaster car. Just alone, the car cannot make the climb up the ramp to get to the top. There is something there used to pull the car up. The chain underneath the tracks is my lame representation for God, the Bible, Jesus, all of the above putting me on track to make my ascension. If the track is stopped, then there is no chance that I am going to go anywhere, gravity is too strong and would win every time. It is only when the track is in motion that the car begins to move. Likewise, it is only when I put my faith in the Lord, and trust his word and his divine representative Jesus, that I am able to accelerate and start my climb. I hope this makes sense, it is difficult for me to describe through an analogy. In my life, I am currently in the struggle to get my ‘car’ on ‘track’ and allow for the ‘track’ to overcome ‘gravity’ and start moving me. In other words, I am currently in a struggle to put my life in God’s hands, and allow for God to over come the Enemy and start moving me.

In addition to the roller coaster analogy in one my previous posts, another on mentioned my current struggles with my image of God. I talked about how a flawed image of God, whether through poor teaching, or personal tragedy, causes people to lose their trust in Him and put it in themselves. I will be the first to sign me name to the list of people who have thought they didn’t need outside help to overcome their problems, and just ignored their Master and Creator. As the roller coaster car, I basically told the track operator, “No, I got this. Go ahead and shut the track off, I can climb this ramp on my own power. Gravity is no issue, I don’t need any help.” Well, we can all see what would happen there. And yet while I sit here writing about throwing out my personal pride and submitting to the Almighty, I am still holding on to things that I think are the right way, or might make me happy. I am still not completely giving my will and my heart to the Lord. This is one of the most painful feelings I have experienced in a long time. I have been hurt a lot in the last couple years, but it almost pales in comparison to the thought of making mistakes on top of my hurt and creating a darker, lower situation for myself.

Short disclaimer. I talked with my very close friend Beth, who also has a blog (http://mybadfriended.wordpress.com). We talked about writing styles, and I really admired how I saw her personality through her writing, and that my writing style seemed even a bit removed and guarded. So I might be rambling a bit with this post, but I want to try to stick with the first thoughts that come through my head and share my true heart rather than something revised and edited to some silly standard what effectively cages my true thoughts.

Anyways, getting back to my struggle and progressive turn around, I feel that I need to explain the title of this post. I made a Part 1 already, so I hope that was read before this as well. This is Part 2: The Enemy is Strong. I picked this title and topic because it relates to my image of God as well as my attempt to make positive changes in my life. I feel like every time I try to ‘do the right thing’ or ‘be a better person’, there is an opposing force that becomes stronger the harder I try to pull away. It’s like those Chinese finger traps. Another lame analogy, I know. We’ve all played with these when we were kids, and again, if you haven’t then you are missing out even more. But the idea behind the finger trap is that you’re fingers are stuck on either end of the woven tube. When you try to free your fingers, the weave gets tight, and there isn’t room for your fingers to escape. This is what I feel like sometimes. I am living my life, everything is normal and satisfactory, then all the sudden something happens to me, positive or negative, and I realize I want more. I want to change the way I am living and devote myself to the Lord. I begin to pull to get out of this trap that I am in, but the harder I pull, the tighter the trap gets and I get stuck. There is no way out. I can pull as hard as I can, but I obviously can’t escape on my own. Now none of us still have those cursed finger traps attached to our hands, so somebody obviously has told each of us the secret to escape. But through all the analogies, the idea is that it is impossible to rely completely on ourself for all of life’s challenges. the Enemy is too strong. I’m going to say that again, the Enemy is too strong. I might win a battle here and there, but it is all meaning less when I get decimated in the war. It is not even a contest. It would be like Brock Lesner, the biggest, baddest, toughest guy I think there is, fighting against a 4 year old girl. She might scream at the top of her lungs, and make Lenser cringe, giving her time to try to run away, but it is a small and short-lived victory, because the advantage he has is far to overbearing and powerful. The only way to defeat an enemy as powerful as The Enemy himself, is to get something or someone more powerful on your side. Obviously without continuing on rambling in analogies, it is not possible to win the war against the Enemy on your own. Even in the simple life of Adam and Eve, it only took one simple temptation from the serpent to convince Eve that God was imperfect and that with the knowledge of Good and Evil, she thought she could do better. In a world of pain and suffering all around us, the Enemy is much stronger. It is foolish to fight on our own against such a powerful enemy. God is ready and willing to help us and lead us to victory in this battle, but he have to check out pride and submit to his power. “I can do all things through Him who gives me strength” Philippians 4:13. David did not defeat Goliath on his own, it was the ultimate mismatch of the Bible. David prayed to the Lord for guidance and strength and with the Lord on his side, he was able to succeed amidst overpowering odds.

Lost post short, the Enemy is very strong. Too strong. It is naive and immature to think that we as humans are powerful enough to resist him and win the war on our own. There is an ALL POWERFUL GOD waiting to be called upon to fight with us. Allow for the ‘track’ to pull you out from the inert state we all get caught up in. And when we get stuck, like in the Chinese finger trap, and no matter how hard we pull on our own, there is no chance for success, then all God to step in and show us the way out.

This is what I am working on. I am no where close to being on track to make my assent out from the depths, but I am sick of the falls, the dives, and sometimes even worse the immobile and non-concerned state of mind, and I’m ready to make a change. I apologize for how raw this post is, it is definitely no up to my standard of clarity, but I hope it reads as clear as it is in my head, which actually is still a bit muddled, but thoughts seem to come together much better when expressed. God bless, and I hope you have God on your side, or you are willing to sign Him to your team, because without Him, it is a depressing, losing battle.

The Image of God – Part 1: The Serpent’s Lie

So I have been going through some very trying times as of late, and it has had a pretty heavy effect on me. These recent happenings have made me angry, disappointed, slightly depressed, caused a loss of respect, loss of role models, a lack of motivation, the opportunity for the Enemy to enter and control many parts of my life, and many more emotions that still I don’t really know how to describe. When I was dealing with some of these issues, I felt myself making some poor decisions with my life. I started to pull away from my relationship with Jesus, and do things on my own. The betrayal I felt transferred over to my faith, and I stopped caring. That’s a pretty general statement, that I stopped caring, but other than soccer, and just a few other things, I didn’t feel any obligation or need to follow through with my commitments or be the man I knew I am supposed to be. The Enemy had control of my mind and thoughts, and empowered me to thinking that I didn’t need God and that I was better off on my own, doing things my own way.

I have come to discover that whenever I have a ‘spiritual high’, whether from a good sermon, a church camp, or a challenge from a good friend or mentor, the Enemy seems to counter with a surge of temptations and lies about my creator that make me question my faith, or worse, become complacent and unconcerned. Throughout my life, I have felt the push and pull for my faith and allegiances, which cause the feel almost like a roller coaster. There are highs, lows, climbs, drops, and plateaus, but they have become much more dramatic, especially the last couple years. I am currently coming off a very low low, probably the lowest I have ever experienced, and I need to make sure that this climb has a good foundation and framework. I am working to surround myself with better, more positive people, and working to become more transparent, because lies covering up lies covering up my embarrassment and mistakes were a big part of my life recently.

I revisited a book that I looked to at the beginning of the year, which had written exactly what I needed to hear. Big surprise that I only made it through about 25 pages, it was exactly what I needed to hear, but the last thing I wanted. The right answer or good counsel always seems to be the last thing you want to hear when you dig yourself into a hole, especially when you realize how much you need it. I opened up the book and re-read a passage that really stuck out to me, and I want to share it. It’s a book called “Is God to Blame? Beyond pat answers to the problem of suffering”. It was introduced to me by a great man named Eric Robbins, the lead pastor at Journey Church in downtown Kirkland. It talks about how to deal with you suffering, and God’s role in our lives during our trials. So far of what I have read, it all comes down to our image of God, and where we put our trust, in ourselves, or in our Creator and Father.  With that, here are the passages (I split them up into 2, and removed a small section that would not flow as part of an excerpt) that symbolize the beginning of my climb out of the pit where I have placed myself. Read it a couple of times through, it’s pretty intense.

Oh, and one last thing before you read. These passages is predicated on the work of the serpent in the Garden of Eden. The serpent persuaded Eve that God’s prohibition of the tree of knowledge of good and evil was actually a weakness, where he didn’t want competition from his creation if Eve was to eat the forbidden fruit. This lie compromised Eve’s perfect vision of God, and created an emptiness that only God can fill, yet she decides to try to fill it on her own, thinking that she can do better. This idea is covered in the passages. Ok, now have at it!

“Unlike God, our knowledge and wisdom are finite. We simply are not equipped to make accurate and loving judgments about good and evil. To us, even in an unfallen condition, the complex world is mostly ambiguous. Our experience and perceptions of reality are incredibly narrow. Aside from God’s revelation of himself, we are incapable of drawing definitive conclusions about most things, especially the state of people’s hearts. But we can (1) trust what God tells us about himself, (2) experience fullness of love and life as we commune with God, (3) walk in humble obedience to him, and (4) exercise the authority he’s given to us.
When we go beyond this boundary and try to know what God alone can know, when we try to be “wise” like God, it destroys us. In trying to seize what properly belongs only to God, we lose what properly belongs to us. We forfeit our God-given authority on earth, giving it to Satan (see Lk 4:5-7). Instead of being ruled by divine love, we become oppressed by diabolical power. The “accuser” (Rev 12:10) turns us into accusers rather than lovers.”

“A faulty picture of God led to an ungodly evaluation that in turn brought about a rebellious action. The lie about God created the illusion that Eve could fill her emptiness by disobeying God. The lie created an emptiness as well as the futile and rebellious means of filling it. A false concept of God, and therefore of herself, gave birth to sinful behavior, which in turn brought about spiritual and physical death (see Jas 1:14-16).
This is not merely an account of what happened a long time ago. Its our own story. Under the bondage of the serpent’s lie, we try to achieve through our own efforts what God wants to freely give us. We have a God-shaped vacuum in our hearts that only God can fill. But we try to fill that vacuum through our illegitimately seized knowledge of good and evil. Instead of innocently trusting God to meet our innermost needs, we trust our own assessment of things and our own ability to get the things we deem “good”. We live by our knowledge of good and evil rather than by trusting our loving God.
The “good” we pursue may be respect, security, religion, ethical superiority, the rightness of our opinions, pleasure and so on. And the “evil” we avoid is anything that challenges the “goods” that have become out source of life. We end up desperately trying to attain a full life from a center of emptiness rather than from the center of abundance, which comes freely from our loving God.”

Ok, now read the passages again, then comment. I want to hear your thoughts and insight! What is your image of God?

Jesus commands my destiny

I love taking lyrics from good worship songs, and reading them as poems or prayers. My church played this song at the service this morning. I stopped singing, if you could call it singing, worshipping is more accurate, and focused on the words. This is extremely well written, and I thought I would remind you of it. Have a happy 4th of July, and stand in the love of Christ!

In Christ alone my hope is found
He is my light, my strength, my song
This cornerstone, this solid ground
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm
What heights of love, what depths of peace
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease
My comforter, my all-in-all
Here in the love of Christ I stand
In Christ alone who took on flesh
Fullness of God in helpless babe
This gift of love and righteousness
Scorned by the ones He came to save
‘Til on that Cross, as Jesus died
The wrath of God was satisfied
For every sin on Him was laid
Here in the death of Christ I live
There in the ground His body lay
Light of the world by darkness slain
Then bursting forth in glorious day
Up from the grave He rose again
And as He stands in victory
Sin’s curse has lost its grip on me
For I am His and He is mine
Bought with the precious blood of Christ
No guilt in life, no fear in death
This is the power of Christ in me
From life’s first cry to final breath
Jesus commands my destiny
No power of hell, no scheme of man
Can ever pluck me from His hand
‘Til He returns or calls me home
Here in the power of Christ I’ll stand
‘Til He returns or calls me home
Here in the power of Christ I stand
Here in the power of Christ alone